A writing prompt from The Red Dress Club: write a first-person piece about either eating your favorite food or taking a shower – without using a personal pronoun. Yikes.
Release
Ninety seconds to sweep away the grime from an arduous, balmy day. Horrifyingly cold water explodes from the faucet and miles of fine hair are knotted. The piercing stream of water warms up as the strands are once again tamed. Steam rises and beckons to each lifeless cell, detached fiber, and speck of dirt with promises of release. Lavender-scented bubbles to wash away the worries and a drain to collect the debris. Fingernails are purged. Weary feet are unsoiled. Pungent armpits are scrubbed and shaved. A delicate layer of makeup melts away. But legs remain fuzzy and hair is only shampooed not conditioned. Time is running out and the baby has started to wail. The stubborn residue of lavender and filth are ushered to the drain. The water stops as rudely as it started. Sudden, with not even a trickle for goodbye.
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19 Responses to release
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Teas to soothe body and soul.
Button love.
This prompt really stretches your writing skills, doesn’t it! Love how descriptive you are about such a mundane experience.
Miel Abeille recently posted..Dear Mom
Wow You are so descriptive, what a talent with your words.
I found this prompt very difficult but in reading others I see what it forces us to do. Without the pronouns it really makes us describe and then we can really feel through description. I love what you did with it.
Kerri recently posted..What Would I Carry
I like it, it’s very poetic. Grammatical words like personal pronouns confuse me. I’d have a terrible time with this.
Kristin @ Peace, Love and Muesli recently posted..Alpha Of The Omega’s
You have a wonderful vocabulary. The way you infused the words and wove them together to create this picture is fantastic!
Great job!
Veronica recently posted..No personal pronouns for you!
Hmmm Nice…. i think this is real nice….
Ratz recently posted..Now And Today
Ahh, mornings, captured perfectly
Jude recently posted..Photo du jour- Extinct volcano award
I love how you captured the abrupt end to the shower when the baby calls. I’ve had MANY of those showers in the past 6 1/2 years!
I get the drift that once I am a mommy I can kiss my relaxing showers goodbye. You did a wonderful job on this.
Stopping by from the red dress club.
This is fine writing….the use and choice of certain words; the description. Nicely captured. *bravo*
It is so sad that the legs are always last to get attention isn’t it? They give us so much.
I love the abrupt ending, like most showers Mamas must beg to get through. Very well done.
All the entries today are just blowing me away. I promise to never again take a pronoun for granted!
Ash recently posted..“That ain’t no regular cracker”
This was great! It flowed beautifully and was very poetic. Wonderful!
Ashley recently posted..Tension Cut By Some FICTION!
Yes, I love the abrupt ending. Sadly, all too close to the truth.
I was especially fond of the personification as well, with the steam “beckoning.” Nicely done!
beautifully descriptive!
mangiabella recently posted..Making Time for More Time
Beautiful. So descriptive and very easy to relate to.
The way you ended this worked perfectly, just like a the shower would, too. PERFECT.
Alexandra recently posted..When Someone You Love Has A Blog- Part II
I definitely have to set aside a day to return and read through some of your posts. Topics of interest here that’s just right up my alley. I love your “about me” because I can relate.
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your very kind words on my piece…
Peace,
Rebecca
Rebecca recently posted..Wombed
Just loved this. I can really appreciate having to race through the shower, with crying babies waiting. Great work!
Missy recently posted..Friday Stuff- A Haircut and Red Writing Hood
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