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If you could do it over again…
I am hesitant to even consider such a question. If we stopped at every turn to review the previous chapter in our life, how would we ever move on? How would we grow, change, and let go? Would we be forever stuck reliving the past, or would we transform into perfect versions of ourselves, with no wrinkles and no mistakes?
Is perfection even what we seek in the end? Perfection is not lovable. Or desirable. Or remotely attainable.
However, it is also true that we only learn from mistakes through retrospection. And I don’t want my mistakes to be made in vain. So, I will share what I would do over again, and I will share what I learned from my mistake.
The answer? College.
I graduated from a prestigious and competitive business school with a focus in accounting. My life was cut out for me. I would go back for my Masters in Professional Accounting and then I would work for a CPA firm. Until I became a partner or until I was recruited to work in the accounting or finance department of a big business. Either way, I was going to be a wealthy CPA with plenty of clout.
Then, life happened. I graduated and I tested the waters. I took an internship with a “Big 4” accounting firm. The biggest accounting firm in the world, to be exact. I worked and I worked and I worked. Nights, weekends. I commuted about 35 miles. I forgot what blue skies looked like and how sunshine felt on my skin. I was a stranger to happiness and to myself.
When the internship ended, I scrapped my former plans and I left the country. I didn’t go back to school for the Masters program and I certainly didn’t accept the job offer from the biggest accounting firm in the world. Instead, I reclaimed my life and my dreams.
If I could do college over again, I would study creative writing. In fact, I would double major in writing and business, but I would choose to focus on entrepreneurship or marketing. Accounting was never right for me. I commend my former classmates who can do the job and stay sane because I couldn’t. Accountants deserve to make a lot of money.
On the bright side, I do not need to hire an accountant for my business, Herbal Philosophy. At least not yet. And my path led me to where I am now, which I would not trade for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
What did I learn from my mistake? Never glorify money and never ignore your dreams.
What did you study in college? Do you “use” your college major in your job? Do you use it ever?
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47 Responses to if i could do it over again
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My do-over would definitely take me back to my college years. I have a degree in Psychology and have no idea whatsoever to do with it, so I’ve just been working in the front office for a pediatric dentist. It’s the same exact job I had before I earned my degree! I think my minor in English would have been a better major. I also wish I’d taken more fun classes, like beginning ballet and/or beginning yoga.
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ME TOO!!! I don’t know why I didn’t take dance classes in college (even though you could only get 2 credits for a lot of hours, whatever!). That was dumb, because I was a dancer in high school and I miss it. When my daughter is older, I am going to take an adult ballet class.
Psychology sounds great though. I wish I’d taken more psych classes just cause it’s such a fascinating subject! Sorry to hear it hasn’t been very useful for you
It’s never too late to learn a new trick. I’m sure there are lots of creative classes available near you.
You bring up a good point, there is a fine line between regretting your past and learning from it.
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You’re right, there are lots of creative classes available in Seattle. James and I took a screenwriting class shortly before I got pregnant. I took a painting class before that. I am still on the email lists for both of these teachers. I just hate to leave Giovanna. She’s still breast feeding all the time and we’re very attached.
More and more, I think it’s important to follow your dreams. But it’s an easy thing to say and sometimes feels impossible to pull off. Good for you that you pulled the plug on a life that was so unsatisfying.
It is so important! This experience reminded me to follow my dreams. And then I had a second extremely traumatizing experience in the workplace (I may blog about it someday, but not yet.). Which reminded me AGAIN to follow my dreams. My life is finally taking me in that direction. Thanks for stopping by.
Thank you for writing this Lucy, I hope every one can take a piece of your honesty and inspire themselves to step back, take a deep breath, and just reflect on their choices. I have to say, college is something that I would do over again as well, I probably would have chosen a different University all together and definitely a different major. But I have to say I love what college has done for me and everything I had the opportunity to experience being away from home and for that, I’m thankful. *Wealth is in the eye of the beholder*
Tai, you are so right. Wealth is in the eye of the beholder. And yes, I am also grateful for a positive college experience. Even when I wished it was different. In truth, I can’t be upset because everything led to me where I am, and my family is the biggest dream come true of all!
Although I could also say that I would have ended up here no matter what…as long as I followed my heart. That sounded cheesy. Oh well
Great post, Lucy! College is the one thing I wish I could do over again, too. I chose to study graphic design, because I figured it was a good compromise between art and that practical degree I kept hearing about. I love design and I certainly learned a lot as a design student, but what I really craved all those years was to do something with my hands. Were I to do it over, I would have done exactly what I wanted instead of try to fit myself to what I thought I should be. What I really wish is that I had taken a year off between high school and college and figured this out before college. Now, I’m about to embark on a year long elementary teaching position to see if that’s the right fit. I still sort of want to be a starving artist, though…We’ll see!
Graphic design sounds like a really great major to me! But not for you, which I get. Curious to know what you have focused on as an Art major?
I, too, think that a break between high school and college is necessary. Why don’t we encourage gap years in America?!
While I certainly don’t use my history degree, the perspective and thought process I gained from analyzing how the small events can amount to such huge change is something I wouldn’t trade for anything.
My biochemistry degree, however…well, I don’t feel like a total idiot during scientific discussions. And it’s help me concoct at-home face masks and hair therapies.
I wouldn’t take it back, but I certainly wished I added a few business classes to my schedule.
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My mom was a history major! She chose it because she loved history, but never used it at all. Then she went to law school so that she could *help people.* Which she has done, but she never made any money as a lawyer. Such is life. I like history as well, and I can imagine how interesting it was to study, but my parents always encouraged me to choose a major that I would use. Look how that turned out! It can never hurt to have a biochemistry degree though. Sounds very cool.
If I could do it over again, I would have gone to photography school or sought out a great photographer to learn from. I’m also an accountant, but the lens of the camera beckons me. Too bad, it takes awhile to make money at photography and my family can’t wait for that to happen. Maybe some day . . .
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That’s the dilemma, right? It’s sad that often we must choose between supporting our family and having a career we enjoy. My father-in-law is a professional photographer. If you asked his advice, I believe he would say, “shoot like you’ve lost your mind!” Stay behind that lens, my dear.
I’m in college right now and so far I don’t regret my degree, however, it is highly likely that it could happen someday. I’m an Elementary Education major and everyday I tell myself, “What am I going to do if I hate teaching?!”
Granted, I’ve been in every teaching circumstance under the sun and never doubted my career choice…but what IF?!
The chances are good that you’ll love your job. It will challenging yet rewarding – the best kind. Especially because you’ll be making a difference and touching the future. But if you don’t, there will always be options. School administrator? Teaching older kids or college students?
I majored in biopsychology and ended up teaching high school chemistry and biology. So, I did get to use it and when I have to deal with doctors I can talk shop with them lol.
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I’ve always been intrigued with the idea of teaching high school English. Why don’t you still teach high school?
I was a philosophy major in college and now I work in the law field as a paralegal. It definitely uses the same parts of my brain…if I were to go to law school. But for now I’m a paralegal which is mostly office work and doesn’t require deep thinking. But that doens’t really bother me right now. I’m just enjoying my time in my early 20s.
I can see why it’s difficult to apply a philosophy major to a job. Although that’s another one I think would have been SO interesting to study. Paralegal is a good job, if you enjoy it. It’s refreshing to hear from someone who is focused on enjoying her 20′s. Good for you. Me too
I used to work for the biggest Big 4 firm. I even did some training for the intern program. I used to say that of course I had work life balance. My life was my work. Then I had a baby, and I realized that I really didn’t have a life at all.
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During recruiting and in the intern training program, they were always stressing how the firm lets you have a work-life balance. Those were key words: work-life balance. Funny that you brought it up and clarified that work-life balance meant that your life was your work at this firm. I experienced the same thing.
What a beautiful and insightful post!! I’m sure I could have plenty of do-overs in my life too, but in a way all the things I wish I wouldn’t have done have made me who I am. So I guess I’m okay with that. Meanwhile, I’m absolutely fascinated by the name of your company and want to learn more about it. Going to check out the linky from your post. Thanks for your visit today!! Great to meet you.
Funny cause I was fascinated by the name, “Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip.” So nice to meet ya!
It’s very true that every decision has made you who you are today, so it’s pretty fruitless to play the “what if…” game.
I love college as the place where you can constantly reinvent yourself, and being a college professor myself, I’m definitely using my college degree. Heck, I couldn’t even do my job without it. I’ve read that the average person has 3 careers in their lifetime. I’m on my second one (love, love, love it) and hated the first one (public relations). Who knows what the third one will be…..
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I’ve dreamt of becoming a college professor. Sounds like a very intellectually stimulating career. And never boring. Curious to know what you teach?
I find it very interesting that the average person has 3 careers. But I’ve already had more than that, although most fairly short-lived. I hope I still have several left!!
It is never too late to increase ones knowledge. I too hope to learn something new if time and money permits.
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You are very right.
Yo! Niki from childhood again.
Hmm. College. I really disliked college. I found a lot of people to be very elitist and idealistic, with no hobbies other than getting drunk. Not my scene. Some people tell me it’s probably because I wasn’t involved enough, but in reality it’s quite the opposite.
I was overly involved. In 3 1/2 years I finished an honors bachelor’s degree (including the 7 honors classes plus an honors thesis that I had to present and get published, and of course the mandatory high gpa), served as one of the heads of student government, and aside from my first semester I worked 3 jobs at any given time (up to 50 hours a week). In addition, I was President or VP of at least two extra curriculars every semester including president of the Law House and VP of my neighborhood (among others), and was nominated for and received many awards. I also rushed Kappa and at the last minute decided not to join, for which I got many a woman angry with me because apparently I was in. Add to this LSAT prep, working full-time every summer and winter break, and externships.
Now let’s throw into the mix, friends, boyfriends, bad friends, and bad boyfriends. It’s no wonder that I have landed in the hospital on average more than once per year since senior year of high school.
So I “took a year off” and worked on salary at one of the top law firms in the west instead of going straight to school. And ultimately, I got early admission into one of the top law schools in the nation (forget first-tier, think Top 50), and I will have a doctorate in hand at the age of 25.
So what I would do over again: Just slow down. Take 5 years to do all that instead of 3 1/2. And not take everyone so seriously in college, because if all of those elitists and bad bf’s haven’t changed by now then I feel sorry for them. But just like you, on the other hand, I have a lot going for me now. (And those bad boyfriends and bad friends have pretty lame lives now, let’s be honest.)
I’ve always liked you, Lucy. We should catch up sometime.
Wow, you were definitely over-involved. It’s hard to say NO sometimes. I, too, wish I’d taken less people seriously. Who cares what others think of you anyways, right?
Hello, lovely lady! Thank you for visiting me! I needed a time out, but I’m back.
This post is amazing! To be honest, your life amazes me! Great work!
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I just visited your blog. Welcome back! Thanks for your sweet words.
Hi Lucille – I came over from Ivy League Insecurities (your wish list intrigued me, and now this post intrigued me). College was a difficult time for me that I’m happy not to repeat emotionally. I too, took the route of getting a great internship in my chosen field (Public Relations), except I actually accepted the job offer. It made me absolutely miserable, and a year later is when I chucked it and went traveling. It’s the best decision I’ve ever made (and the basis of the novel I’m currently writing).
Since coming back I know I want to be a writer, but I also have to pay the bills so I’ve taken a variety of Admin and Marketing Assistant positions that bore me to tears but provide those nice things like health insurance and paychecks. I pretty specifically want to be a novelist, so freelancing articles about some random subject I’m not actually interested in doesn’t, well, interest me. But I do wish I had gone to school for graphic design or psychology, something that would at least hold my interest during the day before returning to my “real” life as a writer at night.
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Welcome, Kaela. Your recent post, “I Command Thee to Chill Out…” has got my attention! Will click over there next. Good for you for chucking it all and traveling. Great minds think alike, right? Speaking of, I am also writing a novel based on my travels. Sort of. It’s going to be fiction, but I consider my travels the basis for my *research.* So glad to meet you. And glad to hear that you’re still living out your real life as a writer.
Such a touching, thoughtful post and question – gosh, I ended up somehow in Ivy Leagues and it was SO NOT the right fit for me. I blindly followed along with friends. But I’m just not a competitive spirit at heart (not enough anyway), I hated working hugely-long hours for no obvious benefit to myself or mankind… I studied hard sciences in college because I’ve always admired scientists and thought it was a nice, clean way (controlled lab experiments! asking hard questions!) to investigate the Meaning of Life. But basic sciences, which are indeed important, do not have always have immediate, obvious applicability and the lab-drudge did not outweigh that gap.
In the end, I gave up, and somehow ended up in social sciences, looking at people and whole populations and what factors drive certain phenomenon, what works and what doesn’t…at least my methods training didn’t go to waste…it’s all so much messier now (no controlled lab experiments!) and the hours aren’t always great…but I can telecommute and I feel very lucky to be part of something that impacts social and public programs, and vulnerable populations.
It makes such a difference to do something you believe in, that you truly feel will impact humankind in a good sense, no matter how small, it makes the harder parts of your day feel better.
(Gosh, sorry for the long post
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Good for you for shunning competition. Why get caught up in the rat race? The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. And I agree that the most important factor in a job is believing in what you’re doing. Otherwise..what’s the point? Thanks for your thoughtful comment, I really enjoyed reading. Your job is compelling.
My dad is a CPA, worked for Coopers and Lybrand during his public accounting days (which eventually became Price-Waterhouse, etc.). I started college with an accounting major and finished with a marketing degree!
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Good for you! Way better. And I know Coopers and Lybrand…because PwC was where I worked.
As another accounting chick – who went for that master’s and survived public accounting – an escaped as soon as possible to the world of exempt org. taxes – I found this very interesting… It’s definitely more than a little grueling to climb your way up in accounting, especially as a woman. No, it’s not fair, but it’s a fact… I sometimes wonder about whether I should have followed through with my high school plan to go to law school, instead of “rebelling” into the world of accounting (ha! some rebellion!)… and perhaps one day I will.
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I, too, had the high school plan of going to law school. My parents (both law school graduates themselves) strongly advised me against this path, for which I am quite grateful. Not to say that it isn’t a great decision for some. Just not for me. Great to hear from other accounting chicks
whoa. are you living in my brain? because I got my master’s in English and I don’t know why. well, I do. because I was too scared to try to get into a creative writing program anywhere. i’ve let fear rule my life.
i live with regret, i think i do seek perfection although i realize it’s impossible and it shouldn’t be something i aspire to.
oh, this post just dredged up so many thoughts. love it. wonderful writing and i loved it.
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I, too, have suffered from perfectionism for too much of my life. Perfectionism causes us to walk away too soon from too many things because we fear failure. It’s difficult to not live in regret, isn’t it? I suppose the one defense we have is to focus every day on our dreams and aspirations, whether or not they seem attainable.
Thanks for your visit, Erin! So glad we “met.”
I got u,
I have got two masters degree,
but they serve me no good,
I feel good staying at home writing and blogging,
being a mom to 12 and 17 year old boys…
beautiful reflections.
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It’s a great reminder that being a mom, a blogger and a writer all require no degree, but are some of the most rewarding jobs out there. Thanks for visiting.
I can relate, again!
This is my story — without the big firm and the ladder climbing — I went to business school and majored in Marketing. Then I fled my country, and travelled a bit, then settled in the US.
Found a decent job, not my passion at all. But that will do until I figure “it” out.
I wish I had studied literature and graphic design.
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It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who wants to do college over again. I’ve heard that the most interesting people are those who never figure out what they want to “do.” Maybe because there are many thinks we want to “do.” Can’t choose just one!
Funny, I always think of my college years as my absolute best, and about the only time in my life where I have NO regrets.
Having said that, FIFTEEN years after college graduation, I wonder if I could have been more/done more if I’d had a more useful degree than English w/ a history minor. And then and Art History masters after that. Not using any of it, still paying off the student loan for grad school… I do wonder if I could have found a way to be more ah, ‘conventionally productive’ with my talents.
I just find myself jealous of people who can pick up part time here & there, a few shifts here & there, and make good money at it. Sigh.
Grass is always greener, right?
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